Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
