OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
