I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize