i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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