32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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