I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
