I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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