Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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