How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
