she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I touched a dick in church today
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
