is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
