jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
