fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
