I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what day is it and did you see me today?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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