You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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