dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Jerry, you need to find god
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
