she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
