Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
