so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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