What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
