im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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