Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
