I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
