He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
