She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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