he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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