I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
