At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
