No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
