Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
