He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this just has baby written all over it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize