shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
