Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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