So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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