just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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