Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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