Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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