In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
