whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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