just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to calm my uterus...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
