So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
