Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
