So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
