It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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