Do you still have your period?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
