Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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