Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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