apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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