i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
