I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
