Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
