3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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